


I'll Be Forever Yours

by BlackWidowsHill



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, blackhill - Freeform, blackhill freeform, multi-chapter, oh boy here I go again guys, pre-SHIELD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-09-25 11:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9818585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackWidowsHill/pseuds/BlackWidowsHill
Summary: Maria is on a mission when she unknowingly meets the deadly Black Widow, who happens to say her words. Now the two of them fight through the confusion and corruption to try and make it work.Or at least, Maria is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Weee! Another story that I should not be starting but I am! This chapter will be longer than most (possibly) just because there was a lot of background in it without the black hill, gotta get you guys hooked haha, just kidding. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this and please leave a comment to let me know what you think and if I should continue!

Running. It was one of Maria's most favourite past times. She loved how with every step she took, her worries faded away and brought a calming sense over her mind. It allowed her to think of plans for work, to make sense of complications.

 

It was simply,it was easy and it was healthy. Running was smooth, it was calming, it was a sense of normality throughout her entire life. She ran for fun; she ran for her life.

 

Nowadays it always felt like she was running for her life. If not hers, a friend, a civilian, a team mate. Always running. It soon lost its favour with Maria. One too many trips, one too many falls, one too many stumbles. One too many lives lost because of it. She soon began to hate running, the one thing that she looked forward to in her morning routine; she began to hate. Once what filled her with a sense of serenity was spent thinking about ever lose that happened because she tripped, because she wasn't good enough. That anger within her made her train for longer and train harder. She built up her stamina, she built up the muscles in her body to keep her and whoever was in her care alive.

 

The thing she hated the most was keeping her alive right now. She tried not to think of that as she held on tightly to the civilian as they ran through the desert. The poor man was stumbling over his own feet, dazed and confused from the heat, sweat dripping off his face. He kept look back as he ran and it was really beginning to piss her off.

 

“Stop looking back! You're slowing yourself down.” Maria snapped at the man, she looked back at her team mates as they flanked around them in a protective circle. Their faces covered by their helmets and bandanas to keep the sand out of their faces,but even through all of that, Maria could see their determination to keep this one alive.

 

Five botched missions in a row. Five. Maria had went over them again and again in her head, but she could not see where they went wrong. The followed a plan, when the situation called for it the switched to their back up plan again and again. They had planned out every scenario possible for every mission, getting more and more meticulous with every failed mission but they still did not understand how their missions failed.

 

She still kept running despite this.

 

She continued to fight for the safety of civilians, the diplomats that she was saving. The royalty, the politicians. Who knew there were so many important figures that got kidnapped on a daily basis that needed the special forces in the army to rescue? Not Maria that is for sure.

 

She paused in her running, her chest heaving as she looked at her surroundings. There was sand everywhere, creating hills upon hills, creating a binding circle, a labyrinth of emptiness. They could keep running for days and never find a way out. It was a great way to never be found, which was perfect if that is what you are looking for, but when you have a politician that needs to be returned to the US to help give a speech to sway others to vote on funding countries that need aid, your superiors want you to be found and to return him to US soils. Which was a surprisingly hard thing to do when you were in the desert with no barrings on where you are.

 

“Cap. Why'd you stop? They can gain on us any second.” Davidson spoke up.

 

Maria turned to face him, he had pulled his helmet off, his dark hair was dripping with sweat, his face had sections covered in sunburn, from where his gear had not protected his face. His eyes seemed to be slowly gazing over. Heat stroke. Maria looked up at the sun and back down at her team. They were all going to get that if they didn't find to hold up or find a way to signal for an extraction.

 

A signal would be dangerous, it would alert the enemies where they were and they have much better barrings of the dessert than they or the US army do. They would be dead within hours and it would be their sixth failed mission. Alternatively, the signal would save them. It could alert the army, an extraction unit could get to them within an hour, depending on how close they were.

 

“We have no idea where we are going, Davidson.” She responded eventually, swirling around, keeping a tight grip on the politician. She hadn't bothered to learn his name, she learnt that this hurt less if he ended up dead.

 

“Surely anywhere is better than where we were, Cap'.” Swanson said, the youngest of their group. She was small, very agile and amazing with a sniper. Maria could always reply on her to watch her back, just as Swanson could always rely on Maria to watch hers, make sure she doesn't get swallowed up in the male dominated army.

 

“True.” Maria conceded, her eyes still searching for a way out, “but if we keep going the way we are, we will get ourselves lost and potentially never be found and that is the exact opposite of the US Army wants.”

 

“So what do we do then?” Davidson asked, he was always the critic in the group, always kept Maria on her toes, thinking about consequences of her actions. Thats why she liked him so much that she kept him in her team, even after their superiors tried to move him teams.

 

“ _We just want things to go smoothly for yourself, Captain Hill.”_ They had tried to placate her, but Maria knew what they were really saying; they did not believe that she could handle someone like Davidson. She knew that they had begrudgingly gave her the position of Captain, that if the a US Senator (a female one, she might add) insisting that she be promoted after looking into her work for the army, and after rescuing her. The senator had cried out that it was crime that Maria had not been promoted before hand, that if it had been a man her age, he would have been promoted even sooner. Thus, Maria become once of the youngest female Captains in the US history. Something she was very proud of, but it did not make life easier for her.

 

At first they gave her the easy cases and the misfits. She still remembered their poorly concealed smug looks as they showed Maria her team. She remembered how much that filled her with rage that she promised herself, if they did not turn out to be good at anything, she turn them into the best damn team the US Army has ever seen and she did so with ease. All theses misfits needed was some understanding and a firm hand and they turned into the most loyal idiots you have ever seen.

 

“Cap.” Davidson called out, Maria attention to him. It was getting hard to concentrate. The heavy gear, lack of water and the heat for the past two days was slowly wearing her down.

 

Maria breathed in deeply as tried to think of a plan. Trying to pull the map of the area she memorised to the front of her mind and try to track their movements. “We've been going in a straight, diagonal line since we left the compound. At our speed for the past two days with the breaks that we've had, I'd say we've covered about 30-40 miles. Impressive, must be a new record for us. According to the map...if we go 10 miles to the south, their should be an abandoned factory. We can set up there, find some resources to fix our communication devices and bunker down for a while till rescue.” Maria theorised. It was hard to think when dehydrated. The politician was given all of her water as he was the one who needed to stay alive, not Maria.

 

“Captain, you need some water, here.” Fitzgerald said, holding out his canteen of water. Maria shook her head at the offering.

 

“No, you keep it. We need you focused, you're our technician Fitzgerald.” Maria replied, closing her eyes briefly before opening them with new determination. “If we move now, we can be there before nightfall. Lets go.” she commanded, glaring at them when none of them moved.

 

It seemed to annoy their politician.

 

“Well why aren't you moving!” He practically screamed, his eyes wide with fear.

 

“Respectfully sir, we will leave once the Captain has had a drink of water. The only way we are going to get out of here alive, is with her.” Swanson calmly, looking at him in the eye with that look that made Maria so proud of the girl.

 

“So what? The US Army hires a bunch of nobodies who can't even get a politcally power person, like me, to safety without being mollycoddled by their commanding officer? Why am I wasting all my money and the governments to help train you pathetic assholes? What to you do with it? Spend it all on booze and fucking strippers?” The man spat, his arms flailing. “And you! So much for being the youngest female Capitan in the US Army! Fucking waste of money is what you are, a product of modern day feminism. Have to keep you women happy and pretend that you are equal or you fucking riot and that's a headache in itself!”

 

Maria's eye twitched. His insults hitting a little bit too close to home. She was not sure if it was his insults, his attitude this entire trip or if it was the dehydration getting to her, all she knew was that her hand sailed through the air and collided with his face in a loud smack.

 

“Pull yourself together, Sir!” She snapped at him, “Respectfully sir, it wouldn't be wise to insult those rescuing you. I understand that you are scared and dehydrated, but so are we. The team is just too caring for their own damn good but you and I can't hold that against them. We will getting moving, _now_.” Maria grabbed the canteen from Fitzgerald and took several gulps before handing it back to him with a look that screamed “your ass is mine when we return to base” and was happy to see him gulp.

 

The politician just stared at Maria in shock, trying to splutter out a reply but Maria had no time for it as she grabbed him, kick starting them all into a light jog towards their destination. The politician threw them all dirty looks but continued running with them.

 

In the end they did manage to get their before nightfall, only just. The politician kept whining for them to stop, that he couldn't take anymore running. Davidson stepped in surprisingly and snapped at the man, which Maria was grateful for because if she was the one to do it, she would be fired as soon as she got back from this mission.  
  
“Davidson, knock it off.” She had snapped lightly, whilst nodding subtly in approval. They had to keep the appearance up that Maria was the disapproving commanding officer and that Davidson was the misfit that he was, it was the only way for it to work and for them to keep their jobs at the end of this.

 

When the arrived, they had almost collapsed with relief, but not before doing a quick perimeter search of the area they were in. There was no point in moving from where they were, the place was surprisingly stock with food and water, it made Maria suspicious but her judgement was clouded after two days of little food and water. She allowed herself and her team to indulge in the supplies, hoping that whoever put them here would not return for a while.

 

After they had their fill, the team decided who was to take watch and when. Maria offered to take the first couple of watches, and quickly silenced the protests with a sharp glance. Something about this place put her on the edge, yet her team seemed to dismiss it. That was not a good idea, but she couldn't fault them, not for what they've went through to get this politician.

 

So she took watch, walking around the place, inspecting the equipment that Fitzgerald would need to fix their devices. There was something familiar about them, so much so that she brought it up with Fitzgerald.

 

“US Army equipment, that's why they look so familiar to you, Cap. Lucky for us though, means we don't need to worry if they are a fit or not.” He replied happily as he tinkered away on their devices.

 

Maria frowned, “why would US equipment be here?” she thought aloud. Something was not adding up.

 

“Dunno, Cap. I think we should just be grateful that this stuff was here, or else we would be stranded for days.” He said, brushing off her worry with ease. “You should sleep of somethin', you become paranoid when your sleepy.” He joked.

 

Maria rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder lightly, careful not to jostle him too much when he was repairing the devices. It wouldn't be wise. She rolled her shoulders and wandered a little further away than the perimeter that they set out from themselves. Once again she was left to her thoughts, she was thinking about how much she hated running, again. More in the sense that she hate not being able to fight back rather than the actual activity of running.

“Ваше правительство лжет вам.” Someone said softly in her ear, causing her to jump in shock. She swirled around to see a gorgeous redheaded women staring at her in curiosity, her green eyes seemed to go right through her body and triggered something wonderful within...and of course the women had a gun levelled at her head. 

 

“My government is what? Sorry I don't know that word, maybe cause my brain is fried...or maybe it's because you have a gun levelled against my head.” Maria said testily, her hands slowly going up but a quiver of excitement went through her body. That women had said her words, words that had confused her for her whole life, only to confuse her more when she started learning Russian. It didn't deter her though, she assumed that it was some joke or something, but now Maria was not so sure. The failed mission, the US Army tech in an abandoned warehouse? Maria knows that they were told to stay away from here but desperate times called for desperate measures.

 

The women looked startled, the gun wavered. Maria agreed internally, this was probably the last place anyone expected to meet their soulmate.

 

“Maria Hill.” She introduced herself, holding her hand out, almost cursing herself because what a shitty way to introduce yourself to your soulmate but she honestly couldn't think of anything else to say. All she knew was that she wanted to feel this women's hand against hers.

 

She had read up on soulmates and the bonds that they could have when she was younger, light knows that her father would tell her fuck all about it. She had asked once, he had snarled at her that she did not deserve a soulmate and that if he could rip that away from her, he would.

 

The soul bond could be complete in different ways, and was not always through sex. Although that was certainly the most popular option for people, as many of them consider that the most intimate thing they can do with someone, and that was basically how soul bond formed. Through intimacy. For some that could simply be holding each other, others through a simple touch. Whatever they thought to be intimate for themselves, was how it was formed.

 

Then the bond formed in more than one way, they could have an emotional bond where they feel each others emotions and can influence them to a certain degree. Another type was a physical bond, where they could feel anything that could affect the body, most people assumed that it was just a mixture of emotional and physical as if someone was fearful, they could have panic attacks which their soul mate would feel, but also if their soulmate happened to be hurt such as being punched, stabbed or shot. The soul mate would not only feel that, but they had the potential to receive that wound as well. Then of course you had the soul bond where is was both physical and mental, there was reports of bond mates being able to feel each others thoughts, communicate through their minds. In recent years these types of bonds have been increasing and the researches put it down to an evolutionary development, as we become a more communicated species the need for intimacy increase and so the bonds have developed to allow communicated telepathically.

 

Of course, it was all hypothetical, no one knew the real reason but that seemed to be as good as any other. All soul bonds have some basics that they all share, such as the ability to sense what their mate needed, the ability to understand each other like no one else.

 

Maria couldn't wait to see what type of bond she would have with her soul mate.

 

The women seemed gaze at the out stretched hand for a while, before carefully taking it, a shuddering breath at the contact. “Natasha Romanova.” She whispered.

 

“Romanova? As in Russian royalty? Are you a descendant?” Maria fired out curiously as she gripped Natasha's hand tightly, a smile on her face.

 

Natasha shrugged in response and pulled her hand back, “I wouldn't know.”

 

Maria tilted her head in confusion, but shrugged it off. Natasha might just be closed off, they may be soul mate but they were still technically strangers to each other. She nodded her acceptance of the answer and allowed herself to go into a lulled silence, simply running her eyes over Natasha, wanting to memorise  _everything_ . Before she had a chance, Natasha spoke up, dragging her attention from trying to memorise her. 

 

“Your government.” She said simply. Maria furrowed her eyebrows, remembering what Natasha had told her.

 

“How are they lying? Are they lying to me about something or is it something else, much bigger? Because the government keep many secrets, Natasha.” Maria asked, shifting closer to the women. Oh sue her, she wants to be close to her soulmate.

 

Natasha seemed to want to pull back. The close contact clearly making her uncomfortable, so Maria pulled back, a little disappointed but it was completely understandable. So she sat at a respectable distance, wondering if she could slyly press their knees together. Natasha gave her a look but seemed to allow it for the moment.

 

“The government is keeping things from you. The army is not what is appears to be, the failed missions? Those were not accidents, they were intentionally set up to fail.” Natasha explained vaguely.

 

“But why? Why would they do this, and more importantly, why are you telling me? Its clearly no secret that you're Russian. Probably a spy for the KGB. Why would you pass this information on to me? You told me my government was lying to me, before...before you knew we were soulmates.” Maria pressed, her hand unconsciously gripping Natasha's knee.

 

Natasha pulled her knee back sharply at the contact and stared at Maria. “I researched you. You stood up for what you believed in, even if it went against your superiors. It's been marked in your file, not your public one, but your private one. It's stopped you from further promotions. Plus the missions you get sent on are outside US soil more often than not. It was easier for me to contact you, away from people who might cloud your judgement. “ She replied with a shrug.

 

Maria frowned again. Natasha made it seem so simple, but everything about this was not. If what Natasha was saying was true, then the army was corrupt and the government was in on it. What exactly did Natasha expect Maria to do? Sure she was a captain, but being a captain had its limits. How was she going to be able to prove this true.

 

“Can you prove this?” Maria asked, “if I'm going to do what I think you're implying I should do, I need proof. I can't just go around accusing the army, my superiors and the government of corruption.”

 

Natasha simply nodded and handed Maria a USB stick. “This is everything you need and I even put in it how you got this material in case anyone ask. Its believable and if they decided to check up on it, it will come back as true.”

 

Maria stared at the stick in her hand, she still didn't quite understand, what exactly did the Russian spy (she never corrected Maria so she assumed it was true) want in US politics? “But why?” she questioned again.

 

Natasha gave her a look, one Maria would never forget. Her eyes held so much pain, something – or someone – had hurt this women so badly. “I have red in my ledger. I want to wipe it out, I helped cause so much pain in the US. I need to fix it.”

 

Maria nodded, knowing that Natasha was not lying to her, not about this. The look in her eyes told her so, but more so the feeling in her gut let her knew that Natasha was telling the truth. “Must be a lot of red if you want to fix our government. That could take years.” Maria said softly, rolling the USB through her fingers idly.

 

Natasha shrugged again. “It's a start.”

 

Maria nodded along, not sure what to say to Natasha, but sitting in silence next to her made Maria feel things she didn't even realise she could get from sitting in silence with someone. She could feel a smile slowly stretch onto her face, her hand slowly reaching out to touch Natasha again. The women gave her a glance.

 

“Why do you keep wanting to touch me?” She asked curiously, moving her body away from Maria slightly.

 

Maria blinked, she hadn't realised she was reaching for Natasha again. “I don't know...guess it's the bond?”

 

“We don't have a bond.” Natasha said bluntly. “From what I've read, we've done nothing to create a bond. This has been strictly business.”

 

Maria tilted her head, so no one taught Natasha about soul bonds, she learned from a book like Maria. “No we haven't” she agreed, “but the bond can push people together, to try and make the bond.”

 

“I've never read that before” Natasha said quietly, looking down.

 

It was silent again.

 

Maria still did not know what to say, she knew that she should be more concerned with the fact that there was apparent corruption within their government, but she couldn't find herself to care. All she wanted to do was get to know Natasha more, to hold her close or be curled up in her arms, both sounded so appealing to her. She wanted to make that look in Natasha's eyes go away, no matter how long it took.

 

“You need to focus. We don't matter. The army being corrupt? That matters, that matters more than our soul bound. It's not going to go anywhere.” Natasha said coldly, standing up.

 

Maria heart thundered in her chest. She has waited a very long time to hear her words and then her soulmate tells her no? It was never an outcome she allowed herself to think about. Her father always had told her that if she ever met her soulmate, they wouldn't want her. She never wanted that to be correct, yet here she stood, in front of her soulmate as she denies her.

 

It hurt like a bitch.

 

Maria spluttered for a few seconds, trying to think of something to say. She couldn't. Her eyes lowered to the ground, not sure how to press the issue.

 

“I'll ah, I'll have a look at this when I get home.” She said, clearing her throat a little. She slid the USB into a secure pocket and stood up, her eyes on briefly looking at Natasha, who still had the same cold look on her face.

 

Natasha nodded, and quietly slipped away, leaving Maria standing there by herself. It only took her a second to shake herself out of it, realising she had left her team unguarded for a while now and quickly made her way back to them to make sure they are alright.  
  
“You guys alright?” she asked softly once she made it back to the team, looking at them as they sprawled out around a make shift campfire.

 

Swanson looked up at her with a smile and nodded “Yeah boss, how's the perimeter?”

 

“Secure. Has he been alright?” She replied, flicking her chin at the politician on the ground, sound asleep.

 

Swanson shrugged “He ranted a bit after you left, Davidson shut him up again. Was pretty hilarious , Cap, you shoulda saw it.” she said, grinning at Maria.

 

Maria smiled down at the young solider and sat down beside her, clamping her hand on the women's shoulder. “Wish I did, probably would have gotten my ass kicked when we get back to base though.” Maria joked back, relaxing only slightly. It was hard to relax when you knew your soulmate was running away from you, with each step getting further and further away from you. Wiping themselves clean of you with each step. It was very disheartening, but Maria had to stay strong and get her tropes back to the base.

 

The two continued to talk for a while, talking about everything and anything that came to their minds, but they somehow steered clear of their past and childhoods, it was clearly a bad point for the both of them. They two of them did not stop until they heard a loud clang in the distance causing both women to look up startled. Maria quickly stood up with her gun drawn as Swanson kicked the others awake. They formed a secure circle around the now awake politician, their eyes and ears open, watching for someone to move. 

 

It was silent for a few minutes, they almost let their guard down, then, all hell broke lose.

 

Bullets started flying everywhere as men in tactical uniform appeared screaming at them to get down and surrender. Based on their lack of identification on the uniforms, they quickly realised that they were hired merch's or henchmen. Possibly both. What they were doing here? That was another matter completely, but they were clearly aiming for the politician.

 

Maria barked out orders for her team, their number one priority. Spread out, take as many as you can and don't die. It was easier said than done. They were dodging bullets left, right and centre, rolling on the ground, grabbing the politician as they moved backwards, trying to find a way out. They were slowly becoming surrounded and if they did not move now, they would die. She signal to Swanson, letting her know that she would try and hold their attention as they escaped. She nodded her understanding and quickly gathered the team as Maria finally shot back with amazing accuracy. She tried her best to aim for the building around them, hoping that she would cause enough damage to spread them out and distract them so that her team could leave.

 

She made the necessary mistake to look backwards to see if her team made it out safely, they had but it cost Maria a bullet to her leg. She cried out in pain, clutching at it desperately with one had as she tried to shoot with her other, pushing through the pain. She attempted to leave the area, but she couldn't get very far and was rewarded with another bullet to her side, it had just grazed it but it was still painful.

 

She sprawled to the floor as she tried to move, only to be tripped and her gun was kicked away by the henchman. The man levelled a gun at her face, his own face covered with a black clothe and sunglasses, yet Maria could still feel his attempt at intimidating her. It wasn't working, she learned long ago to never be intimidated by looks.

 

“Where are you taking him.” He asked in a deep voice.

 

Maria stared at him defiantly, her lips pressed tightly together. It seemed to aggravate him and he slammed the boot of his shoes into her ribs. She didn't give him the satisfaction of a grunt of pain, she simply kept on staring at him, refusing to give in.

 

“I said,” he hissed, his face scrunched in a snarl. He had brought his face as close as he could, so much so that Maria could smell his breath. Fish. Yuck. “Where are you taking him.”

 

Maria advert her eyes as her answer, there wasn't much more she could to communicate she wasn't going to tell them without opening her mouth.

 

The man sighed deeply, standing back up and walking around. He was tsk-ing quietly to himself as he looked at her apologetically. “I tried, Captain Hill, I tried the easy route by asking nicely. I even repeated myself and I don't do that often.” He said patronisingly, chuckling at his own choice of words. “But now, I'm afraid I'm going to have to really hurt you.” The man had picked up a hammer and was tossing it between his hands, as if he couldn't tell which hand he would like to use, left or right?

 

“Now,” he mumbled, crouching down next to her, “I'll give you one last chance, just tell me where he is and I'll let you go, pain free.” He offered her, once again trying to play the nice guy.

 

Maria simply gritted her teeth and prepared herself for the pain she was about to feel. She felt like closing her eyes, but it would be a sign of weakness, so instead she focused on Natasha. On how much she wish the women wanted to get to know her, wanted to stay by her. It would be nice to have her here – no that's not a route she wanted to go down, giving herself false hope.

 

The man sighed once more, “alright then,” he mumbled to himself and without a second though he raised the hammer and rushed it back down, slamming into her stomach, forcing the air out of her lungs. Maria bit back the cry of pain, but couldn't help the twisting of her body in an attempt to get away from the pain.

 

“Where is he?” the man snapped, bringing the hammer down once more, causing Maria to double over in pain.

 

“Fuck you,” she managed to spat out, a stubborn glare on her face as looked at him.

 

She watched the anger in him swell up as he tossed the hammer to the side and grabbed a different instrument. Maria couldn't quite make out what it was, all she knows that as soon as he brought it down on her wrist, she could feel the bone shattering. It felt like a loud noise in her body, one that reverberated throughout her body. She couldn't help the cry of pain that left her body, it was pretty hard not to. Maria tried to wriggle away from him, gasping for breath, as she was trying to breath through the pain.

 

“If you just tell me where he is, all this can stop.” He tried to bribe.

 

Maria gritted her teeth and tried made one last move, if she was going down like this, she was not going to go down without a fight. She twisted onto her side and brought her knee up fast, striking the guy in his side. He sprawled to the floor and seemed confused for a moment, but that gave her all the time she needed as she sprung to her feet, she double over but kept her eyes on him as he stood up and stared at her.

 

“Well, looks like the kitten still has some claws left.” He sneered, twirling the hammer in his hand and lunged.

 

Maria did her best to avoid his flurry of attacks, side steeping, ducking and even tried leg sweeping him, but she failed. The pain was distracting her from her usual fighting techniques and found herself fumbling over the simplest of moves. She ducked once more only to have his knee stuck in her back, striking her back to the floor with a cry of fury from her, and a cry of triumph from him.

 

Maria was lying on her stomach, breathing hard as she had done for the past twenty minutes, just trying to catch her breath. Just one simple thing in this chaotic moment. She squeezed her eyes shut as he towered over her, she could practically feel like the smug look on his face.

 

“I warned you. Don't say I never warned you.” He said, and stuck her over and over all over her body. “Where is he?!” He bellowed, anger and frustration fuelling his movements. “Where is- oft!”

 

Maria froze at the sound of him going down, he landed with a thud next to her and she turned her head to look at him curiously and blinked when she saw a knife hanging in his eye.

 

“Sloppy, I know, but quick and effective way to get him to stop. He's still alive, I'll deal with that later.” Came the familiar Russian accent.

 

Maria looked up at her with a strained smile, happy to see the women again. “Hey, perfect time, I was about to be minced.” She chuckled, laughing at her own joke, wheezing slightly.

 

Natasha just looked down at her, an eyebrow raised, clearly unimpressed. She reached her arm out and pulled Maria to her feet. “You've could have died.”She stated.

 

Maria shrugged “part of the job, Natasha. I thought you left.”

 

Natasha sighed and started walking, pulling Maria along with her. “Let's get you back to safety.” she grumbled, causing Maria to look at her in confusion.

 

“Hold on, Natasha.” Maria said, pulling her arm back, making Natasha pause in her steps. “I don't...why are you doing this?” Maria knew what Natasha had said but a part of her was hopefully that she did want Maria, that she did want to try and make something of their soul bond.

 

“This is not about the soul bond, Maria.” Natasha snapped, “if you do not make it back home safely, then who the hell is going to look at my evidence?”

Maria's heart sank a little further, if that was possible, at Natasha's words. She wished, oh how she had wished, that Natasha had changed her mind and was coming back for Maria. She guessed it would just be a dream from now on. Maria sighed and nodded her acceptance, slowly walking forward, guesting for Natasha to lead the way. At least she met her soul mate and she is not left wondering for the rest of her life about them.

 

“Lets go.” Natasha said quietly, leading them out of the compound. Maria sighed once more before reluctantly following.

 

~BH~BH~BH~

 

It has been two weeks since Maria returned to her base with her injuries, she had turned to face Natasha to thank her for her help, only to find that she was nowhere in sight. Her shoulders had dropped as she walked into camp, her team surrounding her with smiles on their faces as they pulled her to the medic tent. Her superiors had came in, stern looks on their faces as they took in Maria and listened to her report. They had not said anything about it, just casted each other a look before telling her that that was her tour finished and that she was on medical leave till all her injuries have been healed and cleared by a doctor.

 

Which was a bitch because some doctors held you back even though you could clearly do your job.

 

Which led her to her currently predicament, bored out of her mind and lying sprawled out on her couch. The tv was on, filling the small, brick apartment with light in the middle of night. The couch was well worn in and had a grove which suited Maria perfectly when she decided to sleep on the couch because she couldn't be bother walking to her room (which was a lot when she was not working).

 

There were two things she just could not get out of her mind, one; the USB stick that lay hidden in her underwear drawer and two; the person who gave her it, her soul mate. Although, if she were truthful to herself, she cared more about the fact that Natasha did not want to be near her more than the potential corruption within the army. She had tried tracking Natasha down once she had got back home, using her siblings to their advantage only to come up with something she might not have ever wanted to know.

 

Natasha Romanov was really the Black Widow, a notorious assassin who previously worked under the KGB until the Russian operation fell and she became a freelancer. There were many organisation that were looking for her, some had to kill orders, other had order to bring her in. They did not specify what they were looking to do with the women, but Maria could not imagine it would be anything good.

 

One agency stood out against the rest, SHIELD, they seemed to be watching her the most and had the most information one her – which was the scary part; they had two paragraphs on the women and blurry photos which could have been anyone. Maria had no idea that this organisation existed, apparently, according to her sister, they were founded by a women named Peggy Carter after the second world war (funded by Howard Stark) and had been building up a name for themselves before slowly making themselves known to the world. It sounded interesting, Maria was not going to lie but it also seemed a little shady. She may have to look more into it...at a later date.

 

“You've been looking into me. Why?”

 

Maria bolted upright, hissing through her teeth in surprise as she saw Natasha standing in the shadows of her apartment. “Natasha.” she breathed out, she moved swiftly to the women, stopping just within arms reach of her.

 

“Why have you been looking into me.” Natasha repeated, looking into Maria's eyes.

 

“I've been looking for a way to talk to you...see if anyone knew anything about you.” Maria confessed, “apparently no one knows more than two paragraphs about you and a couple of very blurry photos.”

 

Natasha raised an eyebrow at that information, “CIA?” She guessed, folding her arms.

 

Maria shook her head, “no SHIELD.”

“SHIELD?” Natasha mused “That's a few times they've come up...do you know who they are?”

 

Maria shrugged, only knowing what her sister told her, “They are a relatively new organisation, but apparently they were formed just after the second war, funded by Howard Stark and headed by Peggy Carter. A very espionage agency that does the dirty work for the government that only a secret agency can do. They've been building up their reputation and only recently started making themselves known to other organisations.”

 

“Peggy Carter.” Natasha sighed, “knew she would come back to bite me in the ass.” she grumbled and walked past Maria, flopping onto the couch, causing Maria to blink. This was a total one-eighty from her mood the last time they had talked. Maria walked tentatively to the couch, sitting next to her.

 

“Have you looked at the USB or is it still hiding in your underwear drawer?” Natasha drawled, looking at Maria.

 

“You've been spying on me?” Maria accused.

 

“No, I've been watching you to see if you've done what I asked of you.” Natasha countered lazily.

 

“So spying on me.”

 

“Nope, watching you, two totally different things. Also it's time for your medication, here.” Natasha continued and casually handed Maria her meds plus the glass of water that was sitting on the table next to hers.

 

Maria took the handed items in a stunned silence. Natasha had totally been spying on her, keeping tabs on what she does daily, that was the only way she could have known when she had to take her medication.

 

“I also ordered us pizza, spicy chicken with a bottle of coke, that's what you usually get, right?” Natasha off handedly said as she picked up the remote and turned the TV to the programmed that Maria usually watched on a Wednesday night.

 

“I've been home two weeks, and somehow you've got my routine down to a tee and you've clearly scouted information on me and did all of this without me knowing.” Maria stated, astonished.

 

Natasha suddenly looked very interested in one of Maria's pictures, it was the one of her siblings and herself camping when they were teenagers. “I don't know what you are talking about.”

 

Maria just gave her a look that usually had her team spilling their guts to her, but Natasha stood strong and they ended up watching the TV show in silence until the door rang, signalling the arrival of their food. Natasha went and got the food and they were back to silence. It stilled amazed Maria that Natasha knew all of this, it showed off her spy skills that were clearly associated with the Black Widow.

 

“Look.” Natasha started, breaking the silence without looking at her. “I don't know much about the whole soul bond thing...but I talked to someone who explained it all to me... made some sense of some confusing things that have been happening since I met you...” Natasha explained, a hint of nerves in her tone.

 

Maria almost beamed at that information, so that's why Natasha was keeping tabs on her. “You want to try the whole soul mate thing out? That's why you've been trying to find out what I enjoy. You know, you could just talk to me and ask me on a date like a normal person.” She teased.

 

“Whatever.” Natasha grumbled, “it's just some stupid things.”

 

“But it means a lot, that you went through all this hassle to know stuff about me, in a slightly creepy way, but you came forward and told me plus you got my favourite pizza. You're totally forgiven for the stalking thing. Just asked next time.” Maria said, happiness bubbling within her and she knew that she would be all over Natasha soon with her excitement about her wanting to try.

 

To start off small, she placed a hand on Natasha's knee and squeezed tightly, grinning at the women next to her who gave her a hesitant smile in return.

 

“We can make this work. I promise...I just need you to try.” Maria asked tentatively, unsure of what they were going to do next. Just because Natasha showed some promise in regards to their bond today, doesn't mean that she was going to stick to it and be comfortable with everything right away. “Are you staying the night?” She questioned hopefully.

 

“Your meds make you over confident” Natasha said simply, refusing to comment further and turned her attention back to the tv. “Yes... but I'm leaving tomorrow morning. Do not expected me again for a couple of weeks.” Natasha had added on as an after thought, still completely focused on the tv and refusing to talk further.

 

Maria attempted to engage her in more conversation, but was just met with silent stares or arch eyebrows, so she just shifted closer to Natasha with ever commercial break of the show and kept her hand firmly on the women's thigh. Eventually, she was close enough that she cautiously rested her head on Natasha's shoulder and slowly moved her hand so that she was grasping Natasha's. The women was tensed up slightly, but other than that did not seem bothered. She certainty did not make any attempt to move Maria's hand, so they stayed like that till Maria began dozing against Natasha.

 

Natasha had firmly shook Maria's shoulder and led a tired Maria to her room and placed her fully clothed under her covers, only taking off her sock and shoes. Maria was half asleep as she watched through hoodie eyelids as Natasha seemed to debate climbing into bed or not. Eventually Natasha made her mind up and climb in beside her, coming close enough that Maria could steal the heat from Natasha's body, but not close enough to touch. It would do for tonight, they were still getting used to each other, Maria had to remind herself and let herself fall into a deep sleep, trusting Natasha to wake her if she was in need of any help, a smile on her sleepy lips.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait guys! Hopefully you will all like this chapter, any feedback would be appreciated!

**I'll Be Forever Yours**

**Chapter 2**

 

Maria woke up to an empty bed, she lay there stunned momentarily, watching as the sun lazily drifted in between a gap in the curtains, landing a perfect, and annoying, headshot on whoever laid there the previous night. The other half of the bed was made, straightened to perfection with the pillows placed neatly on top. Her breath hitched at the thought that Natasha said that she was going to try but only to disappear in the dead of night, until, she heard someone curse softly in the kitchen.

 

“Where the fuck does she keep her coffee?” the muttered growl had carried through the apartment and allowed Maria to breath a little easier, a splitting grin coming to her face as she quickly pushed the covers off of her body and gracefully swung her legs to the side, pushing herself to her feet.

 

She tried to grimace too much as her feet hit the cold floor, whilst she was a hardened military personal, she still hated the feeling of the cold hardwood touching her warmed feet. She pushed the thought out of her mind and quickly made her bed, a trait that she would never lose thanks to the military, before calmly walking out to meet Natasha.

 

Natasha had a scowl on her face as she swivelled to face Maria, holding on tightly to a mug and a teaspoon, which was then brandished at her.

 

“You. You're cupboards make no sense.” She accused her, apparently giving up as she rested the mug and teaspoon back on the counter.

 

“No the make perfect sense!” Maria defended herself, “You have the fridge for all the cold stuff, then next to it you have your tins, all sorted into the food category and then your plates because thats the next logical step then you have all your stuff for tea and coffee and well, drinks in general.”

 

Natasha just stared at her, wether it was in disbelief or just in horror, Maria wasn't too sure but she would defend her cupboard sorting skills until her dying breath. Natasha eventually just rolled her eyes and moved strategically from the fridge to the cupboard that held the coffee. Natasha turned and raised an eyebrow at her as she slowly opened the cupboard and, without taking her eyes off Maria, she pulled the coffee out.

 

Maria tried to suppress a smile but failed in doing so as she moved smooth across the kitchen, letting her arm brush against Natasha's to grab a mug for herself for her usual morning coffee. Setting the kettle on, she easily got the mugs ready and leaned back against the counter and she looked on at Natasha, who had quickly mirrored her position.

 

It was silent for a while, the kettle breaking the silence with a soft click as it came to boil and the gentle clanking of the spoon against the mug as Maria made them. Neither of them seemed to know what to say. Maria thought she would have this amazing speech planned, one that would detail out how she didn't expect much from Natasha, especially not now and that she was more than happy taking it one day at a time.

 

Natasha seemed to have this hard look on her face, one that was expertly concealed away but when you've been staring at her face for the past five to ten minutes, you can quickly pick up when someone is not as relaxed as they appear to be. She wondered what the other women was thinking, what exactly made her change her mind about their very tentative relationship. If you could call it that.

 

“Don't expect me to be around much.” Natasha stated cooly, she was staring into the mug, her eyes hard and her fingers flexed around the mug.

 

Maria bit her lip, studying the women a bit more and taking in her tense posture, “I'm not forcing you to be here with me Natasha.” She replied softly, forcing herself to not mirror Natasha's pose of staring into her cup. “I'd enjoy trying a relationship, seeing if we can make it work or even if we work out as friends. At least we tried, and that's the thing, it's a mutual decision. I can't make this for you and you can't make this decision to try and make me happy or whatever it was that made you change your mind. It has to be your own choice.”

 

The two of them fell into another silence and Maria quickly glanced at the clock, internally sighing. It was not even seven in the morning and already Maria was having a mini crisis.

 

“I don't have work for the next, God knows how long, so I'll be in my apartment a lot. What I'll do is set the guest bedroom up for you, that way, if you want of course, you can crash here at anytime. You're the Black Widow and I guess with that job you don't really have a set place to go to relax.” Maria offered, hoping to keep the awkwardness out of her voice as she moved quickly towards the spare bedroom to get it ready for Natasha.

 

Natasha moved quickly as she caught Maria's wrist in a gentle grasp, mindful of her current injuries. Maria turned, quirking and eyebrow up in question.

 

“Thank you.” She said, a look of determination in her eyes as she gently tugged Maria back towards her, pulling her closer, forcing Maria to look directly at her. “I want to try, my job is just...unconventional, you get that and that's great. I need a lot of privacy when it comes to it. It generally has me away most of the time. I just did not want to disappoint you, you are so eager and it is a little unnerving to say in the least.” Natasha said, trying to convey that she did mean this with her body language, but she was having trouble adapting from her usual personas.

 

Maria could feel heat traveling up her neck at Natasha's last comment. She was so determined to prove her father wrong that she completely forgot to take the other woman's feelings into consideration.

 

“Yeah, I, uh, can see how it can be unnerving for you. I'll, uh, take a step back from the full on-ness.” Maria said, awkwardly guesting to everything. God this could not get anymore embarrassing for her. Normally she was quiet smooth, calm and collected, like how she was for everything else in her life. For some reason when it came to Natasha, Maria felt out of her depth. She could sense that there was a lot more to Natasha than what she could see on the surface. “Just... I don't want you to feel as though I'm pushing towards this.”

 

Natasha nodded, seeing the conflict and deep thinking on the younger women's face. She could see how this might be more complicated than what most people expect for their soulmate experience. Many people expect things to go smoothly, that there is this instant attraction and connection and something just clicks. That as soon as you meet your soulmate, everything is suddenly perfect within the world.

 

Most of the time it wasn't like that, but no one wants to talk about those few tentative weeks, which can stretch to months, were you are both unsure of each other but are aware of the exceptions that everyone is pushing on you in that moment. As far as Natasha had seen, from the few days she spent surveillance Maria , she did not have anyone pushing that expectation onto her. Maria only made a few phone calls to check up on her team mates and to make some calls to the doctors about her recovery, other than that, Maria did not seem to speak to anyone else. No family or friends. The lack of personal photos in the apartment seemed to reinforce this belief.

 

It still made Natasha wonder, why was Maria so eager to jump into a relationship with someone she just met? Natasha shrugged and decided to just come out with it;

 

“Why are you so eager anyways?”

 

Maria froze at that question, her shoulders tensing at the thought of explaining her reasons behind her apparent over-eagerness. It was too personal of a reason to tell someone that they've just met, even if they were her soulmate. She just sucked in a breath and shook her head. No, this was not something she wanted to discuss.

 

She realised she had been silent a second too long and force smile and a half- hearted shrug, hoping it came across as casual. “ I don't know? I love those stupid romantic movies, guess I just wanted my experience to be like that.” She followed her response with a laugh, hoping that it wasn't too obvious she was lying. She hated those types of movies as well.

 

Natasha raised an eyebrow “well wasn't that just the worst lie I've ever heard in my life.” she replied casually, still curious but refrained from pushing that matter. For now at least.

 

Maria swallowed harshly, staring at Natasha, feeling vulnerable as the woman pointed out her lie. Whilst it wasn't her best, it was still usually enough to through people momentarily whilst she quickly moves the subject forward.

 

“But,” Natasha continued, lazily putting her mug down, starting to feel more in her element, “I'll leave it for now, but I will get an answer for the over-whelming amount of questions I have.” She said, grinning like a predator at Maria, which as she seemed to respond rather positively to the look. Well that was something to file away for later.

 

This was a much needed confidence boost for Natasha, it was extremely rare for her to feel this much out of her element but as the conversation went on, she realised how little control Maria actually had over this relationship and their conversation, in fact the woman seemed to go out her way to make sure that Natasha knew she was in control. This was like working a target, except it wasn't a target but it seemed to have the same effect regardless. The only one who knew any different was Natasha. She really need to discuss this with someone because it was becoming far too confusing in her own head about how to deal with these new found feelings now that she was allowed to actually have them.

 

“Yeah...eventually, just not now? It's not really something I talk about...” Maria trailed off, staring at Nat and almost sigh in relief when the woman nodded conformation of this. “So,” she coughed, “when do you need to leave again?”

 

“In a few hours.” Natasha said, glancing down at her phone which had details of the job request. “I'll be gone for a while. I tend to get a lot of jobs in one go.”

 

Maria blinked in surprise, she wasn't expecting Natasha to leave soon and tried to cloud the disappointment that was slowly making it's way onto her face. “Oh.”

 

“I'll be in touch whenever I get back. We are soulmates after all.” Natasha finished on a joke, raising her eyebrow again at Maria, causing her to roll her eyes and lightly punch the other woman on the shoulder.

 

“Yeah, yeah. What do you want to do in the mean time?” Maria questioned her.

 

“Well, how about we look at that USB I gave you, that way I don't have to worry about whether or not you'd look at it.” Natasha said, pushing herself away from the kitchen and to Maria's bedroom where she knew the USB was.

 

“I was going to look at it.” Maria grumbled, and scowled fondly as she heard Natasha call “sure you were”. She followed the women she was rapidly becoming found of into her bedroom.

 

* * *

 

 

**March 10 th 2006**

 

Natasha had been away for three weeks now and Maria hasn't heard anything about her. In that time period she has read and re-read everything on the USB stick, shock flooding her systems as she struggled to comprehend the information that was on them. It showed captains, lieutenants and generals abusing their position, influencing newly military personal into doing illegal data retrievals and private security – everything that was against the law when you worked for the army.

 

She ran her hand through her hair in frustration. How the hell was she supposed to bring this to light and make these people pay for what they have done? Their actions have caused dire consequences that Maria was beginning to wonder wether or not these consequences were intentionally or accidental.

**March 24 th 2006**

 

Another two weeks have passed and Maria was slowly gathering more evidence during her medical leave, hopefully making her seems nothing more than a workaholic as she went digging through the archives to find more information on what was going on.

 

Unfortunately, as Maria predicted, there was not much information here, making her turn to her brother and sister for help.

 

“So, what exactly do you need this information for?” her sister, Maddie, questioned her as all three of them had sat down for coffee.

 

Maria sighed, seems like she was doing this a lot recently, “I've had some intel from an outside source which indicates to something very disturbing that may potentially being going on within my place of work.” She replied, keeping everything as vague as possible. You never knew who was listening in.

 

“So how disturbing are we talking about here Maria? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to have access to this information and certainly not supposed to be giving it to my sister who is not in the CIA.” her brother, Mitchell, questioned her a little harshly. She could see the tension in his shoulder – as well as Maddie's – and she did not blame them at all.

 

What she was asking them was a lot, especially when all of them were so young and new to their agencies, well Maddie and Mitchell were, Maria has been in the army since she was eighteen. They were all taking a risk here to get this information together- a bunch of twenty-three year olds attempting to fix a wrong within the U.S Military. _'What could go wrong?'_ She thought sarcastically to herself.

 

Not a lot of people knew that Maria was the youngest of a set of triplets, and the only one to not go into an intelligence agency. As close as they were, the often went weeks, sometimes months without talking due to their jobs. Trusting that someone would be in contact if anything seriously went wrong.

 

“Corruption kind of disturbing, I really don't want to go into any more details about this until I'm this all checks out.” Maria admitted, hoping that her siblings understood.

 

“Okay Maria, we will do this for the last time, I can't risk my job at the BAU for this. No offence.” Maddie tagged on at the end.

 

“None taken.” Maria sincerely, and it was true. All three of them were career driven at the moment and were not going to let anything stand in their way.

 

“Also why did you need to know about the Black Widow? Don't you want the other information we have on her?”Mitchell questioned, raising an eyebrow as his sister seemed to tense, but it was too fast for him to really see if it was or not.

 

“Just wanted to know a little bit about her, someone in my team brought it up, not worth getting more information since no doubt they will spew everything I need to know about her, should we actually ever need to know anything about her.” Maria shrugged off easily, standing after getting what she needed plus the small social catch up. “I'll see you guys whenever we are all next available.” She teased

 

“Yeah, sure. Maybe we'll be more adjust adults who party animals instead of workaholics” Maddie joked with them.

 

Maria and Mitchell both snorted, and glance at each other suspiciously, something that happened whenever any of them did something in sync.

 

“Weirdos.” Maddie said, shoving her sibilings as she left “I'll text.” she added airily as she left, not bothering to look back, causing Maria to roll her eyes. She loved her sister but sometimes she still carried that queen bee attitude that she had in high school.

 

“Later, Maria” Mitchell said as he left, leaving Maria to quickly finish her drink and head back to her apartment. She had new information to look over.

 

**May 30 th 2006**

 

Natasha had been gone for two months now and Maria felt like throwing something against the wall. People always talked about the effects you feel when your soulmate leaves before you bond with them. They talk about how some get angry and go on rampages around their houses, destroying everything. Others get into a manic state and seemed convinced that everything is all sunshine and daises and end up splurging on everything, losing a lot of money and others, well, others fell into a deep sadness. Meeting your soulmate and then have them leaving for a long length of time? The brain tricks itself into thinking that it's not worthy of a soulmate and that they have left them.

 

It had caused such a problem in the past, causing a need for medication to be created to soothe and trick the mind into thinking everything is okay. There was medicine created for a soul mate leaving, whether that was before they bonded or after they bonded. It's helped a lot of people and Maria was on the tipping point of anger and sadness that she was tempted to go buy a prescription of it and pretend Natasha never existed. Clearly the woman had been lying to her, Maria had put her off with her eagerness and was trying to let her down easy by saying she'd be back in touch when she wouldn't be.

 

This is hurting more than an outright rejection ever would have.

 

She finally gave into her urges and hurled a glass of water against the wall, her hands flexing as she searched desperately for something else to destroy or hit. Hit... She had a punching bag in the cupboard, why did she not think of this earlier?

 

She made quick work of hanging the bag up before going to town on the bag, carelessly forgetting to wrap her hands and ignoring the splitting pain that was shooting through her hand as she decided to not care about her existing injuries from the brief period of torture she received nearly three months ago. She quickly droned out everything around her as she continued her vigorous hits against the bag, losing track of time.

 

A few hours in, she received a text from Natasha;

 

_Hi. Will be back in few hours._

_Coming round with food. Be ready – NR_

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys another chapter! Next couple of chapters will be shorter just until I get into the swing of things but in this chapters Natasha and Maria deal with feelings and please remember that if you are put off with how out of character they are, that this is intentional!! Please comment and kudos guys, keeps me motivated in my call centre job!

**I'll Be Forever Yours**  
Chapter 3

 

 

Natasha opened the door with ease, surprised that Maria had not locked it. It was a very out of character movement for the woman, even if she was expecting company. Maria seemed like the person to keep the door locked and double check that the person at the door was the right person.

 

Natasha just shrugged and cautiously opened the door, careful of what she might find but all she saw was Maria furiously wailing on a punching bag, unaware of Natasha's presence until Natasha closed the door, causing the woman to jump in surprise, hands up in preparation to defend herself.

 

The two women stared at each other until Maria started to walk slowly towards Natasha, unblinking in her movements as she kept their gazes lock. Utter disbelief was written all over her face.

 

Natasha was standing there, looking at Maria with a mixture of confusion and anger, the take out she had bought was now lying forgotten on the ground. The women found themselves lost for words, just starting at each other, taking in the small changes that have happened over the past few months.

 

“Y-you're here...” Maria stuttered out, her hand slowly stretching towards, as though she is not quite believing that Natasha was really here.

 

Natasha found herself unable to reply, seemingly struck speechless by Maria's appearance. The usual composure that Maria had, which was heavily influenced by the military, was completely gone and replaced with an unstable look. Maria was standing there with what Natasha could only describe as an unhinged look in her eyes which seemed to emphasised by the blood coated knuckles hanging tensely by her sides and the rumpled clothes on her body seemed to tie the whole look together. Maria was a mess.

 

However, her appearance seemed absolutely amazing when Natasha took in the sight of Maria's apartment. Maria was a clean freak, to the point Natasha was beginning to question whether or not it was a serious OCD disorder but yet here they both were, standing in a dump. Literally. Natasha had never really put much faith in the saying 'it looked like a bomb went off' but there was no other way to describe it.

 

What the hell happened to Maria?

 

Natasha eventually managed to figure out how her body work and slowly made her way towards Maria, her eyes shifting to the punching bag. Well, that would explain the bloody knuckles. As she was walking slowly, she tried to make a game plan on how to deal with this. She was never one for emotions really, an apparent side effect of the red room, yet here she was, thrusted into a situation where she needed to learn to deal with them and help someone else deal with their emotions.

 

She understood the premise of it all, she has had to fake it for missions, play the empathy card and use it all to manipulate her targets without a care in the world. The difference between that and this was that she knew she was supposed to care and be upset about Maria, and she was, but she was confused and angry more so. She was angry that Maria was being so gentle about the whole soulmate thing, making she that it was all at Natasha pace and that Natasha was comfortable with everything, that she knew that she was in charge yet when she comes back and expect to relax she's met with a mess of a women.

 

She's angry yet she knows she shouldn't. It wasn't Maria's fault, Natasha knew it was the part of the brain that dealt with the chemical reactions that meeting your soulmate that was causing this.

 

Growing up, soulmates was a forbidden topic. It was to never be discussed and if it was, it was punishable by death. The girls who were lucky enough to know about them from their lives before the red room told the other girls in hushed whispers during training, when their bodies were pressed so close that their handlers would never be able to hear what they were talking about. They talked about it in the dead of night, whispers quiet as the bristle of leaves, carrying over the closest bed to them and like a game of Chinese whispers the stories carried, pretending to be sleeping when they had their nightly checks to make sure they were sleeping peacefully whilst handcuffed to their beds.

 

At least ten girls were shot dead in front of them for passing the stories on. Natasha and the rest of them face punishment that she still shuddered about, suppressing the memory whenever it came up.

 

If Maria, her very own soulmate, wanted to try it, she was going to and she meant it. She was trying it for the old foe that turned out to be a secret blessing and for the girls in her group, mercilessly killed because they continue to hold on to the belief that they had a soulmate and that they would rescue them from the horrible reality that they lived in. She was trying it for herself as well, as apparently she was allowed to try that.

 

“Maria...” She started quietly, trying to think about the best way to deal with this. Since she had a lack of knowledge on everything to do with soulmates, she had to read some books and articles on it in the last week. There was a lot of interesting information and a lot of it is speculating as nothing seems to be the same for every soulmate pair – except one thing. Rejection. Every soulmate pair seem to have the same reaction to rejection from a soulmate, well, the same three reactions. Reading about caused Natasha to freeze last night as she read about how the brain can perceive rejection and a popular example was one of the pair leaving soon after meeting for a long period of time can mess with the other person, causing them to feel as though they had been rejected.

 

It seems like this is what happened – Natasha had been anxious the whole night as she travelled back to Maria as soon as she read that. She has actually finished her missions within a month and was simply sightseeing, trying to force herself to not think about Maria and convince herself that she did not need to constantly see her soulmate, they were not going to have one of those clingy relationships that everyone seemed to have.

 

Occasionally whilst she was away she would feel an ache in her heart and she would scoff, shoving it away, blaming it on her being sentimental about past memories, but she was beginning to wonder whether or not she forced those feelings on Maria, causing this to happen a bit more intensively than usual.

 

Based on everything she read, the best way to start would be physical contact, close physical contact. Skin to skin would be a good idea, according to the research papers she had read, but Natasha was not ready for that. It was far to vulnerable of an action for her liking.

 

Natasha opened her arms as she stepped closer, carefully avoiding items on the floor. They would also have to tidy up at some point tonight, it would make Maria feel better. In the short time she was with her, Maria hated mess and would be unable to feel much better until the mess around her was gone.

 

Maria looked at her, her eyes watery but holding back like the solider she was and accepted the invitation and stepped into her personal space, her eyes still hesitant to hug her. Natasha almost rolled her eyes, but gently reminded herself that she shouldn't and pulled her in close, wrapping her arms securely around Maria. Maria seemed to instantly slump against, eyes closed in tiredness.

 

“Hi.” Maria mumbled, holding on tight.

 

“Hi.” Natasha mimic, eyes focused on the windows, watching the outside world pass by as she tried not to freak out of the emotions she was feeling – the need to just hold and protect this women, to make sure she never felt like this every again.

 

“Your food's on the floor.” Maria mumbled again, lifting her head slightly, presumably to look at the forgotten food on the floor.

 

“To get the food, I have to let you go.” Natasha said, almost regretting it as Maria tensed in her arms, pulling away with a snarl on her face.

 

“I don't need to you to hold my twenty-four seven, Natasha.” Maria snapped, taking two steps back, arms crossing over her chest.

 

Natasha sighed, this isn't what she meant, but she might as well pick up the food now. “That is not what I meant, Maria.” She said gently, placing the food on the counter, “ I just thought that you – we could use some nice hugging time after being apart for so long. That's what soulmates do, right?”

 

Maria eyes glanced down, as though she regretted her actions, but anger marred her face and Natasha knew Maria would snap at her again and no doubt it would be about Natasha knowledge of soulmates. “Well I don't know? Is it? Seems everything I knew about soulmates to be wrong, but you seem to know everything about them and the best way to deal with a soulmate – which is apparently by leaving for so long!” Maria growled, glaring at her from across the room.

 

Natasha just moved closer to her, making sure to keep eye contact, “actually I know very little about soulmates, well I knew very little at the time. I read about them in a book about a week ago and read about the effects of leaving your soulmate last night.”

 

Maria looked very taken back by this, but it seemed to work. Revealing something shocking seemed to have broke through the anger-hazed mind that Maria currently had to realise how she was acting. Maria took a deep breath, calming herself before speaking again.

 

“Sorry...I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It was angry that you had left for so long but that is no excuse when you came back with food and apologetic.” Maria said, keeping the eye contact that Natasha had established, although Natasha thinks it was so that Maria could make sure that she knew that Maria really was sorry.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes, brushing the apology off in a careless way, “It's okay Maria, I messed up without realising it, I'm sorry to.”

 

Maria laughed a little “I don't think you should have to apologies with the way I acted it, it wasn't an acceptable way to act. Besides, if you did not know, you did not know. I should have considered this.”

 

Natasha blinked, she just did not understand this women. She should have to apologise because she did something wrong, even if it was due to a lack of knowledge. “Maria-” she started, but Maria cut her off.

 

“It's okay. Maybe you can tell me a little about it whilst I quickly tidy this mess up?” Maria enquired, trying to be subtle about her curiosity about her past.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes, “maybe another day Maria. If you tell me where things go, I can help.” Natasha offered.

 

“No. It is easier if I just do. Everything can go back into their correct space much faster.” Maria mumbled, already focused on putting stuff away. So Natasha ended up sitting on the counter in the kitchen as Maria moved with a swift grace and put everything away, back into their correct spot and apparently their correct position as well as she watched with a raise eyebrow as Maria seemed to evenly space out the remotes for the telly on the coffee table.

 

It only took five minutes or so of relative silence between the two as Maria worked away, mumbling to herself quietly as she cleaned up. As Maria was coming to a finish, Natasha put the food in the microwave to quickly heat it up for them to eat and pour them a drink to go with their meal.

 

“Thanks for waiting” Maria said tiredly, making Natasha wonder if the women was getting enough sleep.

 

“Well I did buy it for the both of us” she joked as she put the plates on the table, sliding into a chair.

 

Maria smile tentatively at her from across the table as the two of them ate their food in silence, neither of them sure of what to say. It wasn't until they were done with their food did Maria attempt to make light conversation.

 

“Thanks for the food, it was good... are you planning on staying the night?” She question.

 

“It was nothing and yeah, if that's alright with you, of course.” Natasha smiled back at her.

 

“Yeah, always. Are you wanting to stay in the guest room?” Maria, trying to act casual as she gather the plates, rinsing them and putting them in the dishwasher.

 

“I figured it would be better for our health if we stayed in the same bed tonight.” Natasha replied back, just as casual, trying to not laugh at how awkward this situation was turning out to be. She never thought she would end up like this, that was for sure.

 

Maria looked stunned for a brief moment but then struggled to keep the smile off her face, “only if you are sure, Natasha.”

 

Natasha rolled her eyes in response. “If we're going to be sharing a bed, you're going for a shower, because no offence, but it looks like its been a few weeks since you've washed.”

 

Maria's face reddened but nodded in agreement, “yeah... I think I went a bit off the rails. Just a tad over dramatic.” She joked, rather self-deprecating.

 

“Not really, over-dramatic would be if I was still here and all this happened. It's not the worse response. A little bit messy and dirty? Nothing compared to what I've read.” Natasha said casually, or at least she hoped she appeared like that.

 

She meant it when she said that she wanted to make things better for them going forward, if that meant making Maria feels less self-concious about her reaction, then so be it.

 

It was Maria's turn to roll her eyes. “Sap.” She accused as she grabbed a towel from the cupboard, apparently going for a shower now.

 

“You're the one going crazy for me.” Natasha teased, testing the waters as well as trying to make it normal for Maria.

 

Maria just flipped her off as she walked away, but Natasha could see the smile on her face. Good.

 

Now Natasha was left to her own devices, she decided to have a good look around the apartment, she had spotted some boxes hidden away when she first walked in with labels on them indicating what they were. She walked over to the far end of the apartment and peered round the corner where she saw the boxes. Excellent, she thought to herself as she walked into the room filled with boxes. Maria must have just moved in when they first met, and she still hasn't unpacked boxes? Seems like a strange thing for the women.

 

She grabbed the photo's box, feeling like that would seem like less of an invasion of privacy if Maria walked in on her snooping session. It was a lot more filled that what Natasha would have guessed for the private women, who seemingly was left to her own devices.

 

Apparently this box was proving her earlier thoughts wrong. She had thought Maria had no family and rarely socialised with friends but the picture in her hand, which was dated several months ago, showed that Maria had some living relatives and that she was a triplet.

 

A triplet, now how did that not come up in their small conversations? More importantly, when she was staking Maria out, she never saw anyone coming or going. She frown briefly as she put it to the side and continue to look through some of the photos before pulling out a photo album filled of Maria and her siblings as children with happy grins on their faces. Even as children and as adults, there was barely nothing that Natasha could use to tell them apart in the photos. Their brother look creepily similar to them as well, as young child he had his hair grown out, nearly matching his sisters in length but in newer photos he was short hair and clean shaven.

 

The only thing missing, from what Natasha has learned, is a whole family photo. None of these photo's show Maria's parents. There was a few old photo's of someone identical to Maria, that she assumed was her mother. The women was looking happily into the camera, one hand settled on the small swell of her stomach and the other hold up three different baby scans. The only photo of the woman before the triplets were born was one that was taken in a hospital, the woman looked to be in pain but was giving the best smile she could and holding her thumbs up as it showed her mid sitting into a wheelchair. It also highlight how big she had gotten holding three children.

 

After that photo, there was no photos of the woman and not a single one of Maria's father. What happened to them? Footsteps gently padding down the hall broke her focus on the pictures as Maria made her way towards Natasha.

 

“She died in childbirth.” Maria supplied, making Natasha look back at her with a frown. Maria was leaning against the door, hair damp and resting now in her pyjamas which consisted of a tank top and star wars trousers styled like sweatpants.

 

“Oh. Sorry to hear that.” Natasha offered, putting all the pictures back in the box.

 

Maria shrugged as she casually fixed the way Natasha put the first two pictures in, making Natasha just hand the pictures to her instead of putting them in herself. Maria flashed her a quick smile before continuing their conversation.

 

“Thanks, I'm okay with it now. It's weird how you can miss someone you've never met. The human mind is a weird one.” Maria mused, carefully avoiding an actual conversation about the topic, Natasha noticed.

 

“What about your dad?” She question, pushing the subject lightly.

 

“He's an ass. His pictures were burnt.” Maria said sharply, a clear indication that Natasha was not to push the topic any further.

 

“Okay.” Natasha replied calmly, standing up, easily pulling Maria with her. “What do you want to do now? It's not that late.”

 

“It's eleven at night.” Maria deadpanned.

 

“How old are you again?” Natasha questioned, acting shocked.

 

“Old enough to enjoy a constant bedtime when I automatically get up early every morning.” Maria responded “but I suppose on this occasion, I can give up my routine to enjoy a nice night with my soulmate.” She teased, guiding them back to the living room.

 

The two of them found themselves back in a similar position on the first night that Natasha stayed, sitting close to each other so the their thighs and arms were touching, a blanket spread over them as they watched a cheesy movie. From the way Maria kept shifting around and glancing, at what she probably thought was subtly, at her, Natasha assumed she wanted to asked about why she knew nothing about soulmates previously.

 

“Spit it out, Maria.” Natasha eventually sighed after dealing with ten minutes of her squirming.

 

Maria at least had the decency to blush at little at being caught out “ I, ah, just wanted to know what you meant exactly when you said that you just read up on soulmates...”

 

Natasha sighed, shifting slightly. “It was a forbidden topic when growing up. If we discuss soulmates we could have been killed if it was a bad day for the handlers.” a little white lie wouldn't hurt Maria. Discussing any parts of the red room with people makes them go weird and Natasha does not like it. “Even when it came down to missions, we never talked about soulmates, other than how to convince our targets that soulmates mean nothing.”

 

Maria's eyes widened at that last bit of information. “You can do that?” she sounded shocked, and a little bit apprehensive.

 

Natasha was quick to reassure her, “It's easy to do when the person is drugged up, rich and has no soulmate. When they have a soulmate its very difficult to do, we – the red room designed this drug that we would give to our targets if they had soulmates to manipulate their perceived reality and allow us to get the information we needed.”

 

“Oh.” Maria said, staring ahead as she tried to process this information. “So, you knew nothing about them? Then how did you know what the words on your skin were and if it were punishable by death when you were growing, shouldn't you be traumatised by-”

 

Natasha had enough, she didn't mind sharing somethings with Maria but they were too early in their very, very fragile relationship to be discuss Natasha's past in this much depth. She grabbed the straps of Maria's top and pulled her in close, pressing their mouths together, holding her close.

 

Maria gasped against her mouth, Natasha decided to take advantage of this and further distract her by sliding her tongue against Maria's. She moved backwards, bringing Maria with her and settling the younger women on top of herself. She arranged herself how she preferred and tangled one hand in Maria's hair and rested her other hand on the small of Maria's back, the perfect position to hold her in place.

Maria groaned, her hands down on either side of Natasha, holding most of her weight up. Natasha wanted to roll her eyes and pull her right down on top of her but decided against it. Eventually Maria seemed to realised what happened and pulled back, breathing heavily as she stared at Natasha.

 

“Not that I'm complaining, but you could have just said that you didn't want to talk about it.” Maria said, a smile on her face, looking suspiciously dazed.

 

Natasha just forced a smile to her face and let out a small chuckle, “yeah I guess. I'm actually kinda tired now, can we go to bed.” she felt quiet strange now, strange in a way that if she asked, Maria would just drop a subject. She was so used to just using her body to make things go her away and stop conversations she didn't want.

 

Maria eyed her suspiciously “do...do you want me to go into the guest room and you can have my room? My bed is a lot better, mainly because I spent so much more money on it.”

 

Natasha rolled her eyes once again, she had a feeling she was going to do this a lot whilst they are still learning about each other. “No, I'd like it if we are in the same room. Come on.” Natasha replied, standing up and stretching herself out, she held her hand out for Maria with a taunting grin, trying to keep their moods up and pulling her close when Maria slide her hand into hers.

 

“We can't carry this on if one of us is in the guest room now, can we?” She teased in a low voice, watching as Maria's eye widened and mouth going slightly slack.

 

“Ngh...no...no!” Maria stated, managing to shake herself from the daze Natasha managed to trap her in. She put some space between the two of them, “I mean... no not tonight... it's great having you back and it's easier to act normal but I can't do... I can't.” Maria finished lamely, unable to really come up with an excuse, not that Natasha needed one. If Maria said no, then it's a no.

 

The women was better at hiding her feelings than Natasha thought as she looked closer at the women. She thought that being affectionate with her would fix the way she was acting. After all, wasn't the reason she was all messed up because Natasha had left? Natasha was confused as to why Maria still seemed slightly out of it by the end of the night after she seemed fine earlier.

 

Maria seemed to pick up on the confusion that Natasha was having and gently cupped Natasha face “Hey, I'm fine, I swear... just lack of sleep, yeah? Let's go to bed.” Maria encouraged, gently grabbing Natasha's hand again and taking her to the bedroom.

 

Natasha allowed Maria to guide her to the bedroom,watching as Maria got the room ready for sleeping and flung some night time clothes at Natasha, she debated about getting changed in front of Maria, to tease her a little but figured it would be pushing it and got changed in the attached bathroom. When she came back out, Maria was waiting anxiously for her.

 

“So...what side of the bed do you want?” Maria questioned, glancing at the bed. It was clear that Maria normally sleeps on the right closest to the window from the slight grooves in the bed.

 

“Left.” She commented easily, not quiet having the heart to ask for the side closest to the window as Maria still doesn't seem sure of herself.

 

Maria rolled her eyes and climbed into bed on the left side, giving her a pointed looked “turn off the lights before you get in.”

 

Natasha blinked, confused as to why Maria did that but followed the instructions.

 

“For a notorious spy, who I really shouldn't be housing in my bedroom, you can be really easy to read.” Maria teased as they faced each other in the dark.

 

Natasha kept the ball going, smiling at the light banter they had, “I'm only easy to read because I choose so and oh? You're prepared to commit treason for me?” she teased back.

Maria yawned sleepily, apparently just lying in bed made the woman ten times more tired, “Natasha I think I would happily commit treason for the rest of my life along with other namable offences if it meant staying with you. I'd move to Russia, and I hate the cold.” Maria mumbled, closing her eyes.

 

Natasha frowned a little, thinking about it more, technically Maria was committing treason by consorting with a known enemy spy, she did not work for Russia anymore or the red room. She was a free person but she was here illegally. She could really mess things up for Maria if she isn't careful.

 

“Stop thinking about it too much, Natasha and come hold me.” Maria grumbled, turning her back to Natasha. Natasha sighed but did as she was asked and settled in behind Maria, holding her close, wondering if this was the best thing for Maria.

 

It was a problem for another day, for now, she was going to join her soulmate in a deep slumber.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**I'll Be Forever Yours**

**Chapter 4**

 

Maria woke to the early rays of the morning sunlight shinning through her window, slamming into her eyes and pulling her out of her slumber. With a groan she rolled over, pulling the covers over her head and tried to remind herself that she really needed to do something about the blinds.

It never used to be a problem, as she used to sleep on the side of the bed closet to the window but with Natasha favouring the side of the bed closest to the window, it meant Maria was left to suffer every morning with the light shinning into her eyes.

It was even more annoying considering Natasha was not here, she was currently away doing something “classified”. She had sauntered away with an extra sway on her hips and a smirk on her face as she caught Maria staring at her. Maria had conflicting feelings over Natasha's missions, or rather her away time since she was technically not affiliated with any agency and was simply freelancing to the highest payer. She constantly wondered if it counted as treason, holding a ex-Russian spy in her apartment and not telling anyone but after getting Natasha back after she thought she lost her, her mind had no bother with of her usual morals.

She sighed and flung the bed covers to the other side of the bed and slowly pulled herself up, wincing again at the coldness of the hardwood. Cursing as she never thought to get another rug to cover this side, or even just simply move it when Natasha was away.

The two women had fallen into a quiet routine of living together, aware of the space each other needed. Maria had managed to calm herself down from the rage and sadness that she felt when Natasha was away. She also managed to bring herself back down to her usual composure, to an extent that even Natasha had commented on it.

“ _You seem different” Natasha had quietly said one night, curled up on the single recliner that she had quickly claimed as her own._

“ _Different how?” Maria questioned back, not really looking away from her laptop, focused on the content on her screen._

“ _You seem calmer...less brash than I originally thought when I met you. More like what you military personnel file says. You surprised me when we first met.” Natasha replied, speaking more than usual which did catch Maria's attention._

“ _I'm pretty sure it says brash in my personnel file” Maria teased, starting feel uncomfortable with the way Natasha was analysing her._

“ _Only when your team is hurt, or someone is doing something wrong or if there is something you deemed to be an injustice... you see the trend here?” Natasha commented, raising an eyebrow at her._

_Maria rolled her eyes. “These all go under a list called 'Things Decent Humans Should Do'.”_

_Natasha seemed to study her, her eyes holding a hard gaze before she dropped it. “I like this version of you.” She quietly followed up, quickly become engrossed again in her book._

The statement at the time had baffled Maria because she thought she had basically been acting the same the entire time, but when going over her actions and behaviours, she realised that she has been acting the opposite of how she normally did; outspoken, emotional and babbling...she had babbled a lot since meeting Natasha.

She almost shuddered in disgust at her own behaviour. She had summed it up to her being so shocked and determined to best her father that she acted in a way she thought her soulmate had wanted her to be. Unfortunately for herself, the only thing she really had to base soulmate relationships and expectations on was several rom-com blockbusters that she has been forced to watch over the years. Those were not exactly the best way to base your own relationship on but she had nothing else in her life.

Maria shoved thoughts of soulmates and complicated relationships out the way as she went about her usual morning routine, ending with her sitting at the table in the kitchen with her laptop and a cup of coffee. She had to think of a way to deal with the information that Natasha had given her, so far she decided that her best course of action would be to go straight to the top. She might have to be a bit more sneaky about it and plant the seeds of doubt but that would be a very dangerous game as it could tip people off and it could also cause her to be discharged for trying to stir shit within the ranks.

So being direct with the higher ups with her evidence should hopefully be enough.

If not, she has worked out a back-up plan. She would create two copies of all the information and give one to each of her siblings with the instructions to release to their superiors, who would then no doubt crack down on the military. It might be the smartest move to take but if she could do this internally without causing panic to the public, who would absolute panic or get aggressive if they knew their military was corrupt.

Maria was simply hoping for the best outcome with the least negative backlash.

She finished compiling all the information Natasha had given her and grab two spare USB sticks to give to her siblings. It would mean arranging to meet up with them, which would arouse suspicion straight away since it would be so close to when they last met up, not that it really mattered since she would have to be somewhat direct with them.

Maria pulled her phone closer to her and quickly fired off texts to her siblings in their group chat to figure when the best time would be for them all to meet up. Hopefully within the week as she was due back for desk duty next week and hopefully can get the information out then.

She debated about warning her team or not, but had quickly decided to not pull them into this situation. Maria knew that they would support her no matter what and would help her to hunt down and prosecute those who have done wrong, but there was the chance this could all go side ways. Maria did not want her team to get burned in the process of her stubborn will to do right. So if this does go sideways, her team can have deniability and hopefully the generals will keep them out of this.

Her phone made a quiet, short noise, drawing her out of her thoughts. Her siblings had replied a lot faster than she originally thought and were able to meet up with her within the next half hour. She quickly stood up and decided to finish getting ready before making her way to the location that her sister texted her.

 

* * *

It was a short journey on the train to meet her siblings as she slide into the booth of their favourite 50's themed cafe, her siblings had already ordered her favourite shake, a classic strawberry, to sip on as they talked. Maria had done a quick scan of the restaurant and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Just the usual regulars here and yet, she still couldn't help the feeling she was being watch. Probably just a healthy dose of paranoia.

“So, what was so urgent that you had to meet us straight away, Maria?” Mitchell asked, looking curious as he played with some sugar packets.

“I need another favour.” Maria said, sliding two USB sticks towards them. “Remember what I told you? That I was working on something and it was kind of private?”

“Yeah. I take it we've got to do something with these then, in relation to that?” Maddie asked, picking up the USB stick and examining it.

“Something is happening within the ranks. I'm hoping that I can contain to the ranks without involving the other agencies, but in the event that something happens to me after I go back to work, and I mean something like I'm fired, or I've been seriously injured. I need you to give those USB sticks to the highest person in command that you can and push it to go to the top and get them to do something about it. But you can't look at it until then, is that something you both can do?” Maria asked, she knew it was a lot to ask of her siblings to not look it until something happened to her but she can't take the risk. “I can't take the risk that if something gets out before it needs to. It might affect my team.” She added, hoping to take the doubt and hesitation off their faces.

“Maria...what's going on?” Maddie ask softly, looking at her with concern. Her hands swirling the USB between her fingers, a nervous habit from childhood that hasn't disappeared.

Maria just shook her head, she honestly couldn't risk telling them about this. “Just, please? I'm going to be in touch everyday once I get back to work and I need you to do this for me if I'm never not in touch and haven't warned you before hand. If I tell you what's going on, it could ruin everything I'm about to do.” She pleaded with them.

“What if, we show our superiors before hand on the promise not to act until something happens to you. At least it gives us time to prepare in case we need to help you or bring down certain individuals. If this is massive, Maria, we can't just act on a moments notice.” Mitchell reasoned with her, clenching the USB tight in his hand. He looked just as concerned as Maddie.

It was the same look they had whenever they knew Maria was potentially about to do something stupidly heroic and sacrifice herself.Neither of them were ever happy with Maria putting herself first to save the other two, never mind other people.

It happened all the time when they were younger, if their father was angry at Maddie, Maria would grab Maddie and runaway to confuse her father who was who and take the beating for her sister. There was also that one time her father had cut all their hair to the same length when they were still young, and she took a beating for her brother. With the short hair, she could pass as her brother if her father had had one too many drinks – something that happened at lot.

 Her siblings always complained about it whilst doing their best to lessen her pain, their touches light but clumsily as they tried to use their very limited knowledge of first aid. It wasn't to say that it was only Maria that took the brunt of their father's anger – all three of them suffered at his hands. Maria was just the one who thought that she should protect her siblings. She was the youngest and her mother had died after giving birth to her. According to her father, the doctors had high hopes for their mum until Maria, then everything went down hill.

She thought, once she was able to understand theses concepts, that she should took most of the pain. After all, she was the one that caused her father to be like this. If she was never born, her brother and sister would have never have had to go through what they did.

It took many, many years to try and get out that mentality, if she were honest with herself, she wasn't. She just didn't want Maddie and Mitchell to worry about her. They always worried. No matter how hard she tried to convince them that it was something that she could handle, that it was something that she knew how to sort out. She just needed everyone else to follow the plan that she set out so that this could all happen peacefully. Maria just doubted that the generals would follow the plan she had in mind for them .

But still. Mitchell brought up a good point. She can't expect the CIA or FBI to just act accordingly against the U.S Army on a whims notice. They would need to create plans, get warrants, show their evidence for them to act. The only trouble is that if they should their superiors it too soon, it could prevent Maria from acting and getting this sorted internally – internally and legally of course. The army would really prefer not having to bring in the other agencies unless they really had to, this could be one of those situations though.

It was difficult to decided – Natasha asked her specifically to deal with this because she knew that Maria could deal with it, otherwise she would have dropped it off the evidence at the other agencies. Her undercover skills knew no limit... but the intelligence agencies would be on the look out for the Black Widow, the army? Not so much. Therefore interacting with anyone in the army meant there would be a minimal chance that they knew who she was.

Smart.

A part of her wanted to go over this change with Natasha, but there really wasn't much time with Natasha away with no return date as of yet.

“Maria, let us help you. Let us speak to our superiors, we can't join this investigation until invited anyways which you have but not until something happens but if we know what we are dealing with we can prepare of that moment and act according.” Maddie pleaded again, her hand stretching out to reach for her hand.

Maria sighed, but they had convinced her, it was not something she had really thought of when putting her plan together. “Okay, but please...don't act until something happens?”

Mitchell and Maddie nodded in unison, smiles of relief appeared on their faces.

“Okay, well now that we have the go ahead, I'm going to go back to my boss and see what they want to do with this. Its a week you go back to work, yeah? You telling them then?” Mitchell enquired

“Yeah, I've already requested and been approved for a meeting with the top generals. Perks of being one of the youngest captains.” Maria joked, sitting up straight, knowing that their time together was coming to an end.

“Good, that means we have one week to get a plan into action. Well, better make the most of that. I'll see you once this has all died down then, yeah Maria?” Maddie ask, sliding out the booth after leaving the money on the table.

Maria mirrored her sister and smiled tensely. “yeah, of course. I'll speak to you both then.”

“Later, Maria.” They called as they left together, leaving Maria to slowly make her way back to her empty apartment and hope that she hasn't made a terrible mistake.

 

* * *

The rest of the week had flown in quickly and the night before Maria was due to return to work had her restless. She had cleaned her apartment from top to bottom, literally cleaning the skirting around the floor and ceilings. She had rearranged her living room to better suit her needs, shoving Natasha favourite chair into a position that gave her a clear view of the entire room as well as the windows. Maria then realised she had moved Natasha chair first and rearranged the living room around Natasha's chair.

It was stupid and made Maria wonder if they were starting to stretch too thin. She really did not have time to worry about her soul bond right now, she needed to be clear and level headed for going into this meeting tomorrow. She had this pit in her stomach that seemed to keep growing with every passing second about this meeting. Or not seeing Natasha before she does. Potentially both.

Maria was constantly going over every negative outcome in her head, worrying that nothing will happen and that this could be the biggest scandal in the U.S Army history, and she had caused it. What if innocent people got caught up in this? If people lost their jobs, their families...what if they lost their lives? Maria wasn't sure that it would become that serious but she was not sure that it wasn't that serious.

“You changed up the living room.” Natasha said, amusement coating her tone.

Maria swore loudly as she spun around, gun in hand and aimed at Natasha, who raised her hands lazily with an amused smile.

“Hey.” Natasha said cheekily, a stupid grin on her face.

Maria scowled at Natasha, “you're hilarious, dick.” She grumbled, putting her gun back and continued to pace over the living, looking around to see what she can do.

“What crawled up your ass?” Natasha asked, sprawling over her chair, looking at Maria curiously.

“I gave USB sticks filled with the information you gave me as a back up plan incase something happens to me so that if necessary the FBI and CIA could intervene and clear the army out.” Maria explained quickly.

“Huh, smart.” Natasha commented, watching Maria carefully now, taking in the tense posture.

“Yeah...yeah... but what if they act too quickly and it becomes this massive clusterfuck.” Maria countered, spinning to face Natasha. “Also what are you doing here? I thought you weren't going to be back for a while.”

“They can't intervene when you've given them the information and they have no jurisdiction. I was in the neighbourhood and thought you could use some company before you went to work tomorrow and set your plan in motion. A lot bolder than what I thought you would do, but still effective nevertheless.” Natasha responded, standing up.

Maria stepped closer to her, “so you think it's a terrible plan then?” she accused, more out of nerves than snark.

“I didn't say that.” Natasha replied with a roll of her eyes. “Just bolder, probably a lot better move since you know these people personally. A lot better than I do.”

Maria sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She was stressing and taking it out on Natasha. That wasn't fair of her, especially since Natasha did not need to be here before she went back to work. Without thinking about it, Maria moved quickly and pulled Natasha into a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around the woman’s frame and buried her head in the crook of her neck.

“Sorry.” she apologised, her voice muffled. She hoped Natasha understood that she was sorry for what she was saying and the hug.

Physical contact was something they rarely partook in. Sure, they slept in the same bed but only their arms ever touch during the night, even then it was a light brush, but it helped tame all the emotions that Maria had after Natasha had left. Some would think that what they were doing was wrong and just causing each other mindless pain, but they still hadn't confirmed the bond so the lack of physical contact wasn't causing intense feelings.

Maria would like to think that once they did confirm the bond, they didn't need to be in constant contact, Natasha never seemed fully comfortable with Maria touching her spontaneously and that was something that Maria could understand. Maria did not quiet appreciate it when Natasha moved quickly and quietly around the house, it reminded her too much of when her father would try the same tactics to lure her and her siblings out of the security of their room.

“You think too much.” Natasha replied, her hands hesitantly came and wrapped around Maria in the lightest of touches.

There was a long silence as the two of them stood, pressed against each other, enjoying the contact. Well, Maria was and she knew better than to push her luck when it came to something like a person having a dislike for being touched. Maria knew Natasha's limits and slowly pulled back, glancing at her face to make sure she wasn't too upset at Maria for the hug.

Natasha was looking off into the distance, her arms still around Maria despite the small distance between them.

“Nat.” Maria prompted, gently grabbing her arms and pulling them back to rest at Natasha sides.

“Nat?” Natasha enquired, choosing to ignore that moment between them after the hug ended. “That's new, and it's okay. A hug is a hug, I heard some of you humans need physical contact to survive.” Natasha joked.

Maria rolled her eyes and swatted Natasha's arm lightly, appreciating the obvious way Natasha moved passed her tiny meltdown without totally disregarding her feelings.

“Now, lets watch some stupid movie to take your mind off tomorrow, I'll even sit close to you to keep you extra happy and calm, huh? Would you like that? Would my tiny little Maria enjoy that.” Natasha teased her.

Maria rolled her eyes, “A little patronising Natasha. Just a little.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and proceeded to sprawl over the couch, “Shut up and come lie down so I can spoon your stressed soul to sleep.”

Maria scowled but accepted the invitation, but not before she got ready for the night by changing into her pj's and making sure that the house was secure. Once done, she gently sat on the edge of the couch, unsure of how she was to go about this but Natasha took away the hesitation and pulled her down to lie in front of her and secured one arm around her waist and tucked her close against her body.

It was nice. It was the first time they had done anything like this and Maria wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, instead she could allowed the tight hold to squeeze the apprehension out of her body. She allowed herself to close her eyes, knowing that she was fall asleep within seconds. Who wouldn't when this comfortable and safe?

“Night Maria” Natasha mumbled in her ear, a soft kissed placed against the top of her head.

“Night Nat.” She mumbled back sleepily, settling in for the night, uncaring about anything for the first time in several days.

It was nice. She could get used to this.

 


End file.
